I haven't talked to NM for well over a year, and probably closer to two years and a while back she tried to call my home phone, which I ignored (actually, had to shut the fuckin' ringer off because she let it ring for MINUTES). I guessed either someone died or she had a family get-together that she was going to invite me to, apropos of nothing.
Sho'nuff, I get a CARD in the mail today. It's one of those flowery old-lady cards with birds on the pastel envelope - very matchy-matchy. Front of the card says (as I predicted to myself the minute I decided to open it) "Thinking of You" with a very thoughtful looking bluebird parked on what I believe to be a white gladiolus.
Inside of the card, as it is hand-written exactly:
Dear (me), (husband), (little boy), and (big boy),
I hope all is well with all of you.
(NM's sister) & (sister's husband) are coming Labor Day weekend and we are planning a family get-together on Sunday Sept 4 at 1:00 p.m. at (NM's sister-in-law's) in (that city). I and everyone else would love to have you come. If you could bring a dish and whatever you would like to drink. (That would be appreciated.)
I Love You and Miss you very much. (This was actually double-underlined, but I couldn't figure out how to do that on my computer.)
Has (little boy)'s school started yet? What grade is he in. Is he into any sports?
How is (big boy) doing? Please give him my love and ask him to come, too.
I've would love to see all of you.
(Aaaand the kicker...) If you can't come please drop me a line or call me. (Would love to hear from you any time.)
Take care. Hope to see you.
My Love, Prayers, and Best Wishes, Always, Mom
P.S. I sure appreciated getting (little boy's) school pictures and look forward to getting more this school year.
Welp. She just guaranteed I'm not going to contact her for shit. I haven't fucking talked to you for over a year because I HATE YOU and we're just going to try to pretend it's all okay, and just play along so your family thinks you're a great mom whose daughter LURVES you and won't I please bring a jello salad and WHATEVER I WANT TO DRINK (but not booze because you will DISAPPROVE HEARTILY or maybe bring booze so you can judge me now that all your relatives who drink have passed away) and CALL YOU because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO and YOU ASKED ME TO. Also I haven't sent you school pictures for over a year of YOUR grandchild who YOU MOST FERVENTLY DESIRE TO HAVE A PICTURE OF AND DON'T FORGET BECAUSE I DID IT LAST YEAR SO DO IT AGAIN DOIT DOIT DOIT.
Shallow, manipulative cunt.