Sunday, June 17, 2012

And I am the Casaba Melon to Her Butcher Knife...

Psycho Mom has left multiple messages on my phone today while I was at my in-laws' family function. OMG, I'm not answering the phone for five frickin' hours, what could be wrong?? Like Sheryl says, "If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone." A specific cliche comes to mind: How can I miss you when you won't go away? Also: If an adult daughter falls to the ground and noone's around, does she make a sound? Okay, maybe that's a little sculpted to the situation. Seriously, no good would have come to me from answering any of her calls today. She would've told me every bit of bad fucking news she could think of, from someone's ingrown toenail to a guy that stabbed his children in his back yard to someone else's brain cancer, and then she would've reminded me what a martyr she is for befriending a neighborhood girl whose father had a recent standoff with the po-po because he's crazy. That poor girl does need friends, real ones, not older ladies who love to take someone else's drama and make it their own. Mother is just not happy unless she's got the inside scoop on every hot mess in town. If I had talked to her, I would've hung up and realized the misery she omits opens up the door to my own demon, depression, and then I would have to talk myself off that ridiculous and preventable ledge. I fancy I can hear my phone playing "Crazy Train" (her special ringtone) right now and I am determined not to answer it. Her ringtone used to be the "Debbie Downer" song, but it wasn't loud enough and I could never hear it. I think I'll change it back to Debbie Downer.

2 comments:

  1. Given your Professional Position, you're a double-dose of potential "Supply." If she ever ventures into the "How was your day?" she's pushing for some juicy gossip to feed her sanctimonious, gossipy, embellishing self.
    Bess, have you told her directly to limit her phone calls VERY SPECIFICALLY to certain days/hours? I'm thinking you NEED some boundaries here, Little One for your own sanity. Just because the phone rings does not require you actually answer it. If she violates the boundary, you don't answer, period the end. And the more she violates, the LONGER it will take for you to RESPOND. Stating a boundary is one thing: ENFORCING IT is a necessity. Behavior trumps words any day.
    TW

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  2. Gawd, Bess, the whole phone entrapment....every time I survived a conversation with my mother, it would take hours to regain my equilibrium. Everyone would tell me how negative and irritable I was after seeing or talking to her. I've found that NC is the only permanent answer. I couldn't improve my life while she was in it.

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