Give Me Something That Will Let Me Get To Sleep

"Washing of the Water" as written by Peter Gabriel
---------
River, river carry me on
Living river carry me on
River, river carry me on
To the place where I come from

So deep, so wide, will you take me on your back for a ride
If I should fall, would you swallow me deep inside

River, show me how to float
I feel like I'm sinking down
Thought that I could get along
But here in this water
My feet won't touch the ground
I need something to turn myself around

Going away, away towards the sea
River deep, can you lift up and carry me
Oh roll on through the heartland
'Til the sun has left the sky
River, river carry me high
'Til the washing of the water make it all alright
Let your waters reach me like she reached me tonight

Letting go, it's so hard
The way it's hurting now
To get this love untied
So tough to stay with thing
'Cause if I follow through
I face what I denied
I get those hooks out of me
And I take out the hooks that I sunk deep in your side
Kill that fear of emptiness, loneliness I hide

River, oh river, river running deep
Bring me something that will let me get to sleep
In the washing of the water will you take it all away
Bring me something to take this pain away

Truth in Dreams

Another hideous fucking dream. I'm riding, in a semi, no less, with my father driving. Then he says, "I don't feel so good, Bess. You have to drive." This is taking place while driving around and around the block of the little town where I grew up as a child. (If you've ever seen a semi with a trailer on try to make it around one of these blocks, it's sort of painful to watch.) So, with no knowledge how to drive a semi, but managing anyway, he directs me to a portion of the block that sits flat, cuz that would be a good place to park a semi. This is so he can get out and get some fresh air. After he's gotten some fresh air, he gets back in the truck in the driver's seat and continues around the block. When he's on the side of the block where you turn and then you're at our house, someone backs out of their driveway and hits his truck. He gets out and says who knows what to the people, then he tells me he's just going to walk home and I need to drive the truck back home. I get in the truck and get it going slowly (we're talking a steep hill here) and then suddenly it's icy and snowing and I don't know what happened, but I lost control and hit a parked car. I'm so pissed that I fucked this up because I know what's going to happen. I walk back to the house and my husband is there. Then I just know that my dad knew what happened and already told my husband. I asked husband, "Did Dad tell you what happened?" He says, "Yeah, he said you were fucking around and he can't trust you with anything, cuz he told you not to drive." I'm outraged and try to explain to my husband what really happened, but I never got a chance because the dream ended.

Talk about your symbolism.

I Love the All, the All of You

Food For Thought

Please visit this link to a post by Anna Valerious.

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/2008/03/angry-with-narcissist-read-on.html

Wisdom Courtesy of Marilyn Nelson

Not My Bones – Marilyn Nelson

 

I was not this body,
I was not these bones.
This skeleton was just my
temporary home.
Elementary molecules converged for a breath,
then danced on beyond my individual death.
And I am not my body,
I am not my body.
We are brief incarnations,
we are clouds in clothes.
We are water respirators,
we are how earth knows.
I bore light passed on from an original flame;
while it was in my hands it was called by my name.
But I am not my body,
I am not my body.
You can own a man’s body,
But you can’t own his mind.
That’s like making a bridle
to ride on the wind.
I will tell you one thing, and I’ll tell you true:
Life’s the best thing that can happen to you.
But you are not your body,
you are not your body.
You can own someone’s body,
but the soul runs free.
It roams the night sky’s
mute geometry.
You can murder hope, you can pound faith flat,
but like weeds and wildflowers, they grow right back.
For you are not your body,
you are not your body.
You are not your body,
you are not your bones.
What’s essential about you
is what can’t be owned.
What’s essential in you is your longing to raise
your itty-bitty voice in the cosmic praise.
For you are not your body,
you are not your body.
Well, I woke up this morning just so glad to be free,
glad to be free, glad to be free.
I woke up this morning in restful peace.
For I am not my body,
I am not my body,
glory hallelujah, not my bones,
I am not my bones.

Sacrifice, That Was My Vice

now you don't look at me
with jaded eyes
and don't you accuse me of compromise
because this is the first day of the rest of my life
today I married myself, and I became my own wife
I used to give it away
I used to give it away
I used to live and breathe and bleed for you
every day

now don't you think of me
as the keeper of the flame
because I would much prefer to be labeled insane
oh yes I'd rather be the fool out dancing in the rain
than spending my life in chronic pain
I would rather be the idiot on the corner shouting
out..
I used to care, I used to cry
I used to obsess about it
I used to thi nk it was my destiny
to suffer and sigh
now I just want to be high
naturally high

sacrifice, that was my vice
I used to be that kind, I used to be that nice
I lived to serve until I found my nerve
but now I need what I deserve

I was the one who wanted everything for everyone
I was the one who wanted everything for everyone
but not anymore

so don't you judge me
you bastards of young
you son of a son
you daugher of none
no don't you tell me who and I how I need to be
as long as I'm free I will be so I'll be
my love is too much my love is too strong
and to not love myself can only be wrong
mothers with children put the mask on you first
'cause its getting a whole lot worse


I was the one who wanted everything for everyone
I was the one who wanted everything for everyone
but not anymore

-Johnette Napolitano "Everything for Everyone"

Handbag Lady, I'd Like to Buy You a Drink