Sunday, July 15, 2012

Aloneness is Goodness

Got a rare Day Away today. It wasn't really all that away, but far enough that I didn't have to worry if the spouse was going to achieve something today, or if the big kid was going to come and tell me that he's hearing voices, or if the little one was going to get grouchy because we're not doing the very thing he's got on his list.

Shame on me for bitching about the good part of my life, but here, relatively anonymously, I feel freer to do so.

We've got alot of projects going at home, most of which have been started and abandoned by the spouse. I am without knowledge on how to proceed with them, or I'd get the shit done. We've got a bathroom that's got a squishy floor because I didn't take the reins and have the toilet re-seated by someone, cuz that's something the spouse said he could do/would do. We've got gutters falling down and a nasty soffit because I arranged to get them fixed and my spouse bitched about how they wouldn't do the soffit the way he wanted it, so I acceded to his wish to do it himself. Has this happened yet? Three guesses, and the first two don't count. We have back yard with a pile of sand in a staked-out space for a patio. There's not enough sand to cover the area (if it were spread out, which it's not). The area has been staked for probably two months. Not a shitting thing has happened with it. This pile of sand, though I haven't picked through it because it pisses me fucking off every time I look at it, is probably a litterbox for multiple area cats/raccoons.

In every other respect, my spouse is a good person. Not a cheater, not a beater, has a job, good dad, easy to talk to. But he's so goddamn lazy. And every time I try to get shit (by shit, I mean big shit) done, he freaks out because he has an aversion to getting shit done.

Gah. Fuck it. I'm having a vodka tonic.

5 comments:

  1. I'm with you Bess. I am having a cold beer away from the Texas sun.

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  2. Bess, Here's how I handled such "conundrums:" I'll politely ask once, twice and the third time I said not a thing and hired it done. I am NOT a "nag" and I refuse to be de facto pushed into becoming one. I am reasonable, I do expect other priorities may come first or extenuating circumstances may prolong a project. However, I did (and do) retain the right to say, "Time's UP" in my mind without a lot of drama or announcement. I call, make the arrangements and handle it as a done-deal, very matter of fact. I don't argue, defend or get angry. He can do the dance macabre to my departing back. I refuse to participate.
    And I NEVER "announce" my decision. Behavior trumps words any day.
    TW

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  3. (PS: After the second time when he came home and found the job done, funny how "projects" were completed in a more....timely manner.)
    TW

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  4. Oh, I love TW's way of handling it. My hubby is like this too. But he's my best friend and I love him as madly as he seems to love me. Plus I've sort of sunk down to his level of not doing shit, because I am not a nagger, either. Gives me a headache to nag.

    I'm going to do things TW's way now. Forward, ho!

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