Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tired
I'm tired of being so angry, yet I seem helpless to stop myself. I've tried meditation, counseling, aromatherapy, acupuncture, medication, readings from the Dalai Lama, religious research, physical activity, extra sleep, less sleep, alcohol, spiritual journeying, shopping therapy, reflexology, seclusion, speaking my mind, zipping my lips, hugging on animals, hanging out with positive influences, gratitudinous thinking, supportive brassieres, reading, writing, avoiding arithmetic. Please help me think of something new to try. I don't know if I'm asking you or a god-like figure that may or may not exist. I'm exhausted. Maybe shock therapy?
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Maybe express your anger here?
ReplyDeleteDitto what Lisa said.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently getting EMDR treatment for PTSD and it seems to be doing wonders for me. I'd tried everything from therapy (really helped but didn't do everything), exercise, drinking to excess, repressing... This stuff takes time. But it can be chipped away at
If you seek shock therapy look me up and let's see if we can get a volume discount. Each day is a struggle for me to not throttle some ass that is soaking up all the good will around me.
ReplyDeleteWow can I relate to this! For me, comfort finally came when my (biggest bully) mother died. I looked back on my life and thought man, what a waste of anger. I could have found freedom years ago, if I would have learned what I know now. Blogging has been a godsend to me (both reading and writing). It helped me find "my voice", something I never thought I had.... And made me very angry. the other thing that helps me is a masterfully crafted playlist of music for my daily walks, strong happy music that focuses on putting me in an upbeat mood.... And this becomes the tape I play in my head all day. On Both Sides Now blogging on Wordpress
ReplyDeleteBess, you didn't get to where you are today feelings-wise without a whole lot of damn good "reasons." And "Good Girls"/"Good Moms" are NEVER "allowed" to be totally pissed off.
ReplyDeleteHA! Here comes a lifetime supply of Prilosec! Just keep doing what you're doing right here. It seems the biggest "agent provocateur" is yo momma. Limiting your exposure to her is a necessity to retain your sanity, IMO.
TW
It helps me to talk into a voice recorder. I pour out my thoughts and feelings, then a day or so later after I've calmed down, I listen to the recording. Doing this has given me some amazing insight and clarity.
ReplyDeleteI have also pretended that the person I was angry with was sitting in a chair, and I told the chair what I would like to tell the person. I've beaten the chair with pillows and my fists, too, but that just felt silly. Now that we have an emotional dog living with us, I can't do the chair beating thing anymore because it freaks her out.
I like the hugging of animals on your list. That, and wearing a good, comfortable, supportive, color-coordinated bra makes a big difference. Especially if it has some pretty lace, but only if the lace doesn't touch your skin, lace can itch.
Avoiding arithmetic is also important. Sounds like you're on the right track, here.
Charity