I decided to get my permit to carry. This isn't something I wanted to do when the opportunity was first presented . I felt that it was a non-issue for me, and I didn't feel I needed that kind of accessibility. I was pretty down with my Stroam.
Then, last week, I pissed off some guy by calling Human Services to report that he moved in with a female "friend" and her teen daughters. His MO was sexual contact with his wife's teen daughter some years ago, and he was just released from prison less than 2 months ago. Through research, it is alleged the daughters were just perped on by this woman's previous fling.
I'm scared of this guy in a way I'm not usually scared of these shitbags. I'm used to being angry, and I'm really damn good at it, but the scary feeling reminds me of being little, way before I became angry. I'm pissed at this fucking girlfriend of his who seems to be whoring her kids out so she can have a man in her life. I've spoken with this guy a few times, and he did not mince words with me when he said, "Thanks for the nice report to DHS." Then he tried to back-pedal and say, no, no, I'm really grateful someone's looking out for these poor kids. Fuck you, douchebag. I can tell this man is a manipulative son-of-a-bitch, and I know how narcissists get when they've been outed. And I just ruined his first chance at proximity to potential victims since he got out of prison. This is what bothers me, and I can't distance myself from him unless he moves out of our jurisdiction.
I decided I refuse to put myself in a situation where my will could be taken over by someone physically bigger and stronger than me. I will do whatever I need to defend me and my family. If a shit-bag is wanting to take me out badly enough, he or she might have a decent chance if they're smart enough, but not without me inflicting some serious damage on my way out.
Sounds alot like bullshit bravado to me when I go back and re-read it. But I mean it. If a shitbag gives me a good reason to make one less shitbag in the world, and I have to do it, I won't be losing any sleep.
Take care of yourself however is necessary. Don't feel ashamed for being scared or for doing the strong thing by reporting the sleaze bag.
ReplyDeleteDo whatcha gotta do, Bess. FWIW, we could have used a "Bess" years ago but no one seemed to care or have the courage. If nothing else, it can be a great stress-reliever to go to the shooting range and blow off a box or two of ammo.
ReplyDeleteDid he max out his term or is he on Parole? If he's on Parole, I'd be calling his PO as well; if the instant offense was related to a sex crime (or there's any previous convictions) I can't imagine there aren't terms and conditions about where he lives, who resides in the household etc. Wonder if his PO even knows what his "new" address is in any event....often, PO's appreciate hearing from someone who has info that may not appear in the record, but comes from a reliable source-and you'd be considered reliable by virtue of your employment.
When you deal with people like this on a daily basis you develop a spidey sense about who's run-of-the-mill and who isn't: Not only do you have the courage to follow your convictions regarding the kids, but the courage to listen to your gut regarding your safety and that of your family.
Good on you, Bess. FWIW, I hear you re: these "women."
TW
He served his term and has no parole. His offense was a sex offense against a minor. In our state, offenders are not put on the registry or reviewed until their exit from the corrections system into society. Due to budget constraints, the department of public safety is modestly staffed and there is usually a waiting period before they are able to begin the review. The day this guy told me he was moving in w/the girlfriend, I called the registry person in the county he moved to and Human Services and contacted the area special investigator, and the county he was moving to called the DPS, which bumped up his review, and during the 2-3 days he was staying in that county, the review was completed and it was determined he was subject to living restrictions - but in our state, the restrictions are limited to daycares - if the gf had lived outside 2000 feet of one of these, he still could have moved in with her and her kids. Human services felt their hands were tied because this woman and her adult friends insisted this guy would never be alone with the kids. If a criminal case could have been made, it would have to be investigation upon the woman for child endangerment. But the kids went to school and stated they were scared of this guy, and this prompted gf to move him out. For the record, she obviously still doesn't see him as a problem since she drove him back to our county and accompanied him to my office. Since he moved back here at the same time his review was completed, it was determined he is not eligible to live pretty much anywhere in our town because of many state-licensed daycares - soooo he has to move or face charges. We'll see how this goes.
ReplyDeleteI can't quite catch why Human Services still can't get a Children's Services Preventive (as opposed to Protective) Caseworker in there...someone to stop by and offer "Services" to "mom" (carrot-type approach) or meet with the kids occasionally at school but I'm sure budget constraints play a role there as well. What's additionally frustrating is he is likely de facto living with her anyway.
ReplyDeleteI consider women like this "co-perps." (That's the....PC term.) I'm glad you're locked and loaded-his "magic" didn't work on you and no doubt the gf sees you as the bitch that's wrecking her life as well.
They deserve each other but the kids sure don't. He needs a "PO" and it sounds like he got the "right one" for him-Ms. Bess. The county where I live is larger than the state of Rhode Island-and a whole lot poorer. That's been a big factor in the locals taking care of guys like him (and her) themselves. I really hate it when they max out and there's no supervision: Even though this area is geographically huge, the POs do a really great job of staying on top of the few that haven't been "disappeared" or left-yet.
I'd like to hear how this works out if you'd like to follow up sometime. Thanks.
And thanks for caring about those kids and doing what you can for them.
TW
I don't think our state even has a differentiated Preventive/Protective case worker. This guy is about halfway thru his 20 days til he's got to find a new place to live, and he hasn't got anything yet. His fakey charm manipulation shit is getting nicks and cracks in it. Funny how pressure makes the real stuff seep out. Man, I hope those kids are ok. If the mom can't have this shitbag, she'll probably pick another asap. Just hope the kids are the type of people who want to be the opposite of their mom so badly that they achieve that for themselves and don't have to be poisoned their whole life with her lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteNicks and cracks, eh? Yeah, they have no problem causing problems and pressure for everyone else, but don't cha dare ruffle their little fucked-up world. Glad you're locked 'n loaded.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the "mother:" If it's not this one, it'll be another just like him. And yes, the kids will eventually have choices to make as well and I also hope they decide to do a 180 from mommy-dearest.
It's these situations that keep a person awake in the wee hours. When it's no longer an abstraction but in your face every day discussions about the whys and wherefore's regarding perpetrators and co-perps loose their patina of PC quickly. It's like going to work every day and having your heart shredded. Kids don't get to make choices but adults do. Sometime all's it takes is one adult around us to do what they can that ultimately ends up making a huge difference in the kid's lives. May not see that right away, but it does happen.
As adults coming out of these kinds of "Starting Gates" we may make a few more screw-ups but we catch on quickly that unless we want their lives, we best start making some different kinds of decisions for our own.
Thanks for the follow up. I know the end of this story hasn't been written.
TW